oh my god!!! i can't breath!

today...
am i under a curse??
or wat....

hey...y r u keep searching 4 me...
i told u ded i hate u...
y don't u understand ded...
since morning he keep messaging me...
keep asking me...
wat is his fault??
n i?'
keep asking him to realize it by himself..


n...
finally..
he come to me..
after i didn't answer his call..
after my sis telling him the truth..
he asked me to make him ''milo ais''
as usual..
but i just ignored it..
he keep calling my name..
n i think i juz make him like a ''tunggul''
yeah.. i know ded..
i'm such a cruel..
but wat can i do??
he hurt me...


then,
he just go away n ask me to answer his call..
i didn't..
but,
1 message received,
that explain the reason y he.........
n i was so surprise...
i just told him...
that it was too late...
he also told me that he's going to die..
one day....
he do have brain tumor..??

i'm not sure wheather its true or not..

but the reality is.

he do have schizophernia n pnuemothorax

yeah,its true..

sometimes he had vommit

fainted...

my godd...

my god i really can't breath at ded time.....


suddenly,
i told him ded i've some1 else
coz of wat he did to me...
then ,
he said...
[efi..pian terlalu sygkan efi..pian terlalu ikhlas cintakan efi...knapa efi buat mcm nie?
begitu mudah efi brubah ati..begitu mudah efi mainkan pian..knapa pian?slama nie pian xpnah duakan efi walaupun kta salu bgduh,pian xpnh bniat untuk cri pmpun len walaupun kta salu bmasalah..pian terlalu sygkan efi..knapa efi?efi terlalu mudah jatuh ati.....pian sumpah pian xkn jatuh ati kat pmpuan len,tp ini balasanya...??efi buat sma mcm xgf pian buat kat pian,xhairan la kalo 1 hari nnty rumah tngga efi goyah sbb dari skrg efi dah tnjuk perangai nie..n ..............lots of more words...

at ded time i feel like..
i can't do anything..
my hands shaking..
i couldnt stop my tears from falling down..
its not coz i'm easily believe him..
but,
when he come to me..
i really can see his eyes..
ded he miss me..
he needs me..
he loves me..
he don't show it to me..
but i really can see ded..

i just tell him,
ded pls hate me..
i dun care..
coz i hate u too.
rite now my heart is empty..
i need space
i'm lost..
my love belong to who?
skunk?
naruto?ded ask me wheather
he still have a chance?
u sygg.
me feliz,me vida?
i dun know..
i'm lost..
i felt guilty to everyone around me..
if u guys wanna kill me?
den just do it..
coz i feel so empty rite now..
i do have family n frenzzzz.

but,
i can't fight the guilty..
the mistakes ded i did.
i hurt guys feeling...
n
not only ded..
coz of me..
my bestfrenzzz.
lost his gf
his gf ded much n more better than i am.
wat can i do rite now?

cry...
i'm tired...
my eyes couldnt stop for ded...
n my feelings?
i dun know..
i just need space.....


guys.....
pls.....
give me a space..
so ded i can breath again....
i'm not selfish..
but,
i really need ded..


bubbly skunk...
n
naruto
really sorry
forgive me.
thanks so much...

me feliz me vida..
maafkan efi......

treat u bad is better den giving u hope...

actually deeply in my heart,

i won't do ded.

but,

u really make me dissapointed..

so sorry..