i dun wanna come back here..n juz wanna stay there

4 days at kem bina negara ulu sepri,rembau negeri sembilan

Wat can I get from there is…

…adventure…
…experience…
…knowledge…
…friends…


Honestly,I really enjoy myself when I was there.eventhough we have to follow all the rules,but I really enjoy it.why?it was because the activity n wat I really can feel is..i’m actually far n far away from my problems n him..yeah, I really can feel ded.i was actually glad ded,when no my baby boo(handphone) around me.so ded,I will never get any message ded really annoying from him.

But,
For the 1st dy when I was there,I kept counting when will all the stuff over.i can’t stand to hear all the words from the trainer.but,after a while I try to enjoy myself n think positive.then,we’ve been separated for 7 groups n me?hahaha..group number 5 pown bole..who are the member?itz actually haris,haziq hanafi,haziq kk,faris,syafie,watif,alya,Dinah,afiqah,maira n me…ngeeee….=_=… I LURVE MY TEAM…we’re da best rite..heheeh.. n our leader?of coz laa haris..i knew him before,but we never work out together,so the other member..i didn’t really know faris,Dinah n afiqah..but,actually when we work out together everything was great.we can actually accept n share our own opinion.so,starting from ded,whatever it is we have to stay together.haaa…our team name is MALAYSIANIZER..n we’ve our own flyer ded really meaningful..huhuhuhu.ermm…for the ‘’ceramah’’ actually really makes me wanna sleep..yeah..i knew ded..itz actually really informative..huhuhuh..for the first day no extreme activities actually…juz a simple exercise but I really can enjoy ded..errmmm…my roommates??owh..itz paid,ceyna,maryam,cuna,kai,nadzirah n kuku??i didn’t really remember their name..sorry…heee…~

For the 2nd day..
Hurm…since morning until afternoon,there was ‘’ceramah’’about wat ha?secret3..huhuhuh
Den for the LDK,our faci is en suhaimi n pn ilya..there are so nice n I like the way they train us..the way they explain to us..easy to understand..n I really glad ded they can accept our opinion.starting with ice breaking den we continue our activity..by 6 sumtink I think..actually I really cant wait for ded..wua..itz flying fox!!!!!! I love ded!!! Ngeee…
But….. I felt a lil shy3 in front of those guys…n keep wishing dd..hey guys get away from here laaaa…..huhuhuh…but,lastly I did it..nothing make me scared..but it is actually the most challenging one ded I did.compare to before..i love ded!!

3rd day…
LDK again as usual..but..for dis time..we can actually voice out our own opinion den we can discuss it together..i think its very interesting..but I realize ded,I have a vey lil knowledge about the topic we’ve been discuss compare to the others…huhuuhuu..n I felt quite ashame in front of them..n I just listen to them.n try to understand it.for the third day actually I felt a lil moody maybe coz I’m not I n a good condition n……n wat makes me feel guilty when.. watif said knape prlu pas2 kn bndera tue kt org len..
Yeah,I realize ded it was actually my fault..im the one who past it to fars after faris ask me to hold it..iz juz actually I’m afraid ded I might forget to bring it during the activity..sory everyone..haziq..forgive. me..ngeee…huhuhu
Den..after ldk,Abselling!!! I never do it before but I really wanna try it..coz I can see it itz very interesting.aas usual..keep waiting all the guys to get away from there..yeah.. I felt a lil nervous at first,but when I saw haris can do it..i really wanna do it..oh my god!!!!! I can do iT!!!! I was so happy at ded time…n feel proud to myself..ngeeeee…..really enjoy it n wanna do it again n again…nite??fun time…..ngeee…hey group 5!! We’re da best we actually win for the singing contest n dancing3…hahahaha..

4th day..last day..
A lil sad..huhuhu..but the activtity i’ve been waiting for!!!! I love ‘’kembara’’..i just feel really proud to haris coz he can do it..n dun wanna stop..he didn’t give up at all eventhough itz quite hard…my team??keep waiting for him whatever it is..
Lastly but will be continue… photography session of coz..


Nite..
Thanks babe n simba coz stay wif us till da bus come..wua!!!!!! bengang oh…bas wosak…but,luckily hurul,atirah,alya,n manage to arrive alor star by 6 sumtink..thanks god…



Wat I’m not satisfied??
Xleh tgk cicak besar!!! Xley amek gmbo time activity..huhuhuhu

1 week before eidul adha..at last.

the day that we've been waiting 4 has come!!!

hahhaha

but before ded..
lurve ded moment
"efi..xsabaq la husin nk rya..nk tgk lembu kna sembelih.."
"aik..bkn husin tkot ka?skit2 suruh ba dukung.."
"husin kesian laa..
"mna bleh ksian..nty xleh mkn dging tu..husin3 taw arkk..nty husin pon kn sembelih!!!!
"huh!! tamaw..

den the day has come..
well,by ded morninn both of dem(husin n boy my naughty brother!!) looks..humm quite relaxx laaa.

ye laa..den i come to dem..
"haaa..tataw laa..nk kna sembelih.."
lala said..hish efi ney..jgn la kata cam tue..xhabes3..dah3..husin n boy..nty dpt dwet byk woo..
"alaa..sket ja pownn..boy.nty kta men game kat cp nah..hg blnja aku taw!!
hahaha!!!!

well..coz of ded i can't follow dem..
juz wait dem..
i wonder how is it..
hahha
den,lala col..

"efi..aku otw blk dah ney..geram gla kat boy..dia tamaw wat tdy..wat mluw jaaa.mnjrit 1 klinik..dia reyau skt3..xdan wat pa lg pown dah reyau lbeh!! geram aku..
"tue laa..xbwk aku..mti laa boy ngn aku..tnggu saattt..husin?
"husin ok jaaa..owg suma tepuk tgn kat dia..dia dh dpt duit.."
"cantik! aku bleh paw dia.."
"efii...dah3..msk nsik.."
"errrrmmmmm..ok..mti laa boy ngn aku.."

"woi boy..kta naruto! tkot boleh nk sembelih hg pnya tue..!!! hahaha
tarak33..aku p ngn mama cri tmpat len kat hg.,,tnggu3..hg xkn tlepas..
hahah..efi33

den
3-12-2008
da knduri+bcaan yasin by..
hurmmm..my fmily of coz..
n kuin student...hahaha
hensem kah anda senyum begitu padaku??
hahaaha

"ooooOo..husin dpt byk duit uh?bleh r blnja efi nowh..pdn muka hg boy..xdpt cam husin..tue laa tkot sgt..
esok hari hg..tgk laaa...aku ikot gk hg gak aeh..aku nk wat video hg letak kt utube aeh..tgk laa"
boy said..EFI GILA..MAK!!!!!! TGK EFI NEY..!!!
efi said..well..hahaha.

well,ded nite i think da precious moment 4 my brother n his bestfrenzz.pian n faiz!!
hahaha.
bcoz of ded nite..
finally they become a good fren back..congrate!
well,i ask pian to come for the knduri since my mom keep asking bout him..
wah...pnt kot..dia tue nanak abg aku p amek dia..mngada btol..hish33.
tapaa..4 me i'll do anything to make sure their friendship will be fine..hahaha
well,eventhough i'm tired ded nite..but i still glad ded..
n i hope one day my dad can accept him back..hope so..
bout me?? i dun know..
i just keep thinking ded itz ok..if me n him break up forever..
but...
not his friendship with my brother n dad would end juz like ded
yeah..i felt guilty for ded....
they had been a good fren for a long time.
sumtime i think ded..
pian is like our family..
but..
now everything is different.
n i really hope ded..
1 day..
everything will be as usual..
eventhough not me n him..
itz ok..
i dun mind laa..


hahaha
4-12-2008
ey..i woke up so early today..
coz i decided to follow demm.
"boy..hg kna gak nah bsunat..
tlng laa...nty hg tua..lg skt..
"aduh..lala..lmanya tnggu giliran.aku lapaq laa.
jom p kdai sblh.."

den
when lala n i come back to de clinic..
hye..mna mak n suma?
suddenly.. iheard boy scream..
hahaha
he said..tlng3333!!!
hahaha
i entered the room n help da doctor,my moms da nurse.my brother,my sis..
to control my brother...
hahaha..
at 1st..i juz laugh n laugh..
but suddenly..
i felt like..
oh my god..
pening22..nk muntah..
the nurse said..
hyeh..pucat muka da tue..bsuh kaeh.
yeah..maw xjdi cam tue..
i'm PARANOID TO DED THING LAAA."

but,
i still glad ded..
that is da 1st time i saw the process..
i mean
"bersunat"
hahahaha..
guyzzzz..jgn malu..

ngeee...
^_^

i wanna watch dis!!!

Bella Swan has always been a little bit different, never caring about fitting in with the trendy girls at her Phoenix high school. When her mother re-marries and sends Bella to live with her father in the rainy little town of Forks, Washington, she doesn't expect much of anything to change. Then she meets the mysterious and dazzlingly beautiful Edward Cullen, a boy unlike any she's ever met. Edward is a vampire, but he doesn't have fangs and his family is unique in that they choose not to drink human blood. Intelligent and witty, Edward sees straight into Bella's soul. Soon, they are swept up in a passionate, thrilling and unorthodox romance. To Edward, Bella is what he has waited 90 years for -- a soul mate. But the closer they get, the more Edward must struggle to resist the primal pull of her scent, which could send him into an uncontrollable frenzy. But what will Edward & Bella do when a clan of new vampires -- James, Laurent and Victoria -- come to town and threaten to disrupt their way of life?

huhuhuhhu^_^

kamu dan kamu by agnes monica

ada dua cinta di hati

belum bisa aku pastikan
bila aku harus memilih
sepertinya cinta takkan memilih

goncangan jiwa makin hebat
ruang hati makin bergoncang
degup jantung semakin keras
bila kubersama kamu dan kamu

memang cinta tak bisa memilih dengan mata
maka biar saja kunikmati perasaan ini
biar waktu yang berbicara tentang semua
pasti aku dan cintaku akan berlabuh

ada dua cinta di hati
biar saja ini terjadi
selama aku bisa menyimpan rahasia kita hanya untukku

ada dua cinta d hati
belum bisa aku pastikan
bila aku harus memilih
say what?
aku takkan memilih

teman tapi mesra..hahah kpd siapa ya?

Aku punya teman
Teman sepermainan
Dimana ada dia selalu ada aku

Dia memang manis
Dan juga baik hati
Dan dia slalu ada waktu
Untuk membantuku

Namun aku bingung
Ketika dia bilang cinta
Dan dia juga katakan
Tuk ingin jadi kekasihku

Cukuplah saja berteman denganku
Janganlah kau meminta lebih
Kutak mungkin mencintaimu
Kita berteman saja
Teman tapi mesra

Aku memang suka pada dirimu
Namun aku ada yang punya
Lebih baik kita berteman
Kita berteman saja
Teman tapi mesra

well..ada hikmah di sbalik kejadian itu..

errmmm
last nite..
i'm busying talking to da phone..
owh,yeah
i'm so hapy at da time..
i just on my maxis number
n i've a lot of miscol n msg..
so i decide to call them back...
i used my celcom number..
i called hakim,sayoq,alif,n
msg wif ariel..
they said that i'm proud riite now..
n they miss me??!!!!
hahahaha..
actually i also miss dem.
yeah..they all are such very nice frenzz to me..
itz ok,we keep merepek33..
hahaha
peasanan yg sama dri mreka?!
jaga pipi tombam mu!!!
hahaha



then,
i realze ded suddenly my sis cry.
yeah,as usual..
at our restaurant at ded time..
i just go n ask her wat hapen?
n den she said
ded..
efy,ku rs xcdap aty...
aku rsa sgt22..
den i just calm her down
n keep askiing him to relax..'
by 12.00
we decided to go home..
she did'n talk to me at all
n i feel sumtin strange..
her baby dun wanna stay near at her..
she just drive straight
n i ask her to stop..
she said"kaki aku kebas.."
den i called faizz..
her.....
he drive us home..
i called my moms
my sis n my bro..
they come to the car..
as my moms recite some doa to her..
n suddenly..
she shout n shout..
she lose her control..
i thinks she's hysteria..
n at ded i'm just take care of her baby..
everyone of us really panic..
n after everything is under control..
i just let her sleep..
yeahh..of cozz.
she's fainted already..


den,
today,
i woke up so late..
i was so tired..
last nigtht..
i went out to ct plaza.
hahaha..
teman ariel bli bju!!
bls jasa smalam dtg lepak kat kdai aku..
nice designs..
ariel...i've already change u!!!
hahaha

den,
by night after having dinner
my dad ask us to tesco.
shoPpING!!! ShopIng22
n i realized ded..
i was so hapy at dedz time.
yeah,
i've already"ok"
wif my dad..
i'm glad ded..

den,
he asked me to make him mushroom soup..
my sis goreng keropok..
n..
we had our supper together..
i was so happy at ded time..
then,
i called amal..
yeah..
i dun wan her to waste her credit
so i just called her..


as usual..
online!!!
ym wif.....




sleapas kejadian tue..
aku kmbali pda kluargaku..
ada hikmah di sblik kjadian itu..

erkk..
hikmah?
my sis name..
da victim..
hahaha

nobody's home... by avril lavigne..

I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
She felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her,
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.

What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why.
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.
Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the place.
Yeah,oh

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah

oh my god!!! i can't breath!

today...
am i under a curse??
or wat....

hey...y r u keep searching 4 me...
i told u ded i hate u...
y don't u understand ded...
since morning he keep messaging me...
keep asking me...
wat is his fault??
n i?'
keep asking him to realize it by himself..


n...
finally..
he come to me..
after i didn't answer his call..
after my sis telling him the truth..
he asked me to make him ''milo ais''
as usual..
but i just ignored it..
he keep calling my name..
n i think i juz make him like a ''tunggul''
yeah.. i know ded..
i'm such a cruel..
but wat can i do??
he hurt me...


then,
he just go away n ask me to answer his call..
i didn't..
but,
1 message received,
that explain the reason y he.........
n i was so surprise...
i just told him...
that it was too late...
he also told me that he's going to die..
one day....
he do have brain tumor..??

i'm not sure wheather its true or not..

but the reality is.

he do have schizophernia n pnuemothorax

yeah,its true..

sometimes he had vommit

fainted...

my godd...

my god i really can't breath at ded time.....


suddenly,
i told him ded i've some1 else
coz of wat he did to me...
then ,
he said...
[efi..pian terlalu sygkan efi..pian terlalu ikhlas cintakan efi...knapa efi buat mcm nie?
begitu mudah efi brubah ati..begitu mudah efi mainkan pian..knapa pian?slama nie pian xpnah duakan efi walaupun kta salu bgduh,pian xpnh bniat untuk cri pmpun len walaupun kta salu bmasalah..pian terlalu sygkan efi..knapa efi?efi terlalu mudah jatuh ati.....pian sumpah pian xkn jatuh ati kat pmpuan len,tp ini balasanya...??efi buat sma mcm xgf pian buat kat pian,xhairan la kalo 1 hari nnty rumah tngga efi goyah sbb dari skrg efi dah tnjuk perangai nie..n ..............lots of more words...

at ded time i feel like..
i can't do anything..
my hands shaking..
i couldnt stop my tears from falling down..
its not coz i'm easily believe him..
but,
when he come to me..
i really can see his eyes..
ded he miss me..
he needs me..
he loves me..
he don't show it to me..
but i really can see ded..

i just tell him,
ded pls hate me..
i dun care..
coz i hate u too.
rite now my heart is empty..
i need space
i'm lost..
my love belong to who?
skunk?
naruto?ded ask me wheather
he still have a chance?
u sygg.
me feliz,me vida?
i dun know..
i'm lost..
i felt guilty to everyone around me..
if u guys wanna kill me?
den just do it..
coz i feel so empty rite now..
i do have family n frenzzzz.

but,
i can't fight the guilty..
the mistakes ded i did.
i hurt guys feeling...
n
not only ded..
coz of me..
my bestfrenzzz.
lost his gf
his gf ded much n more better than i am.
wat can i do rite now?

cry...
i'm tired...
my eyes couldnt stop for ded...
n my feelings?
i dun know..
i just need space.....


guys.....
pls.....
give me a space..
so ded i can breath again....
i'm not selfish..
but,
i really need ded..


bubbly skunk...
n
naruto
really sorry
forgive me.
thanks so much...

me feliz me vida..
maafkan efi......

treat u bad is better den giving u hope...

actually deeply in my heart,

i won't do ded.

but,

u really make me dissapointed..

so sorry..

who should be blame if sumtin happen to..

shit!
i love cigarrates!
i love dis ice!
i love sex!
i love enigma!
i love jack daniels!
i love doing all dis best damn thing!


but is it her own desire when she get involved in that kind of thing?1

yeah...
1st of all...
of coz when she've low knowledge of islam
n she's didnt practice it??!
of coz ded is the main reason y she easily get involve with it rite......


but...
actually the other common thing that
coz the girl get involved wif that..
is....
when she LOST HER PARENTS ATTENTION
when her PARENTS KEEP SAYING A BAD THING BOUT HER..
EVEN FOR NOW.....OR FOR THE FUTURE...


1st situation
mak:hg kalo dk wat prangai pnyegan mcm ney...smpye bla pown xkn dpt lg baik2..!!!!!!
Girl:mak,cek cuma kata SAT ja...bkn tamaw buat..
mak:tgk la nty hg keja mna pown ownk halau hg!!!!
girl:keep cryinggg...


it happen when the mother ask her to do something..
n she ask her mother to wait for a while..
but the mother keep angry to her..
quarrellings at her..
is it shows ded the girl is ''ANAK DERHAKA"
is she deserve for that kinds of ''SUMPAHAN''??
but at the same time she do..
respect her momss..
she do wat her mother ask...
she just stay silence when the mother keep saying ded..
even everything wat her mother said hurt her so bad..
it maybe will affect her future..
maybe wat her mother said would be true..
she was so scared coz of ded..
should she said ded her mother such a cruel person...??
or just accept wat her mother saidd.
n accept it even it happen in da future...


but,
somehow..
she's only a teenager...
she NEEDS ATTENTION...
she NEEDS LOVE..
she NEEDS FORGIVENESS..
she NEEDS CHANCE....
n she HATES ''SUMPAHAN''

by ded time..
when it become worst day by day...
no chance for her...
even small matter can create situation...
n her mother keep say a bad words to her...
wat actually will happen to her?1


is she going to kill herself?!
not yet...of cozz..

but..
she'll tend to ruin her own life.
coz wat?
coz she scared wat her mother said will come true in da future?
she have lost her own confidence to continue her life..
she really think ded she'll never achieve her dreamzzz..
so she rather ruin her life rite now....


starts wif cigar..
she tends
to try the drugs..
to have sexx..
to drinks alcohol..
n many more...


who' s da most important person in her life during ded times..
FRENZZZZZZ of course......
whenever...wherever it is..
frenzz always be there for her..
deds why..
she'll always follow her friends...
follow their steps...
n be like them...
if he bf more n more care bout her
compare to her family..
of coz she'll give everythings to her bf.

n.....



wat will happen to her future???!!!!



for me..
if i lose my family..
its like i lose my own life..
my future..
i have nothing in my life..
no more true happiness.
no more bright life..
JUZ FULL OF SADNESS..EMPTINESS..
N

SIN!!

i hope i could be strong watever it is..
i hope there is no such thing in my life..
i hope i can be patience..
got da strenght..da confidence..
to continue my life as
a HUMAN in daa world..
moms word always come true..
but..
OH my god..
dun let it happen..
forgive me..
forgive my moms..
forgive themm.
forgive us..

moms pray for..
Hidayah from Allah S.W.T
bright future...
happiness..



i need ded....

thanksss..

when love change to hatred..frenz change to love..n besfren is actually in love wif u..

i love u... i love u damn so bad...n i love u more then everything...crazy in love wif u...really love uu.


but nowww..
i hate u!!!!! u r da one who makes me hate u...
i hate n hate u..
cheh....bole dtg kdai den buang rantai yg aku bg?!
shit ahhh... buang la dlm pewot BABI kalo da xbmakna!!
mency dia..
xhargai aku...



n suddenly....
unfortunately..
without realising that..
skunk n hamster are in a relationship?!
are they really in love?!
yeah...they use to spend their time together all dis time..
n they are reallly like a couple..
so sweetttt.
skunk tend to miss hamster.so do hamster?!!!
of course she does..
but..
alll dis way.
she really can't confess anything to the skunk..
coz she's still confuse..
scare...doubt..
hamster always said to herself..
will i find my true love?!!
is it my true love?!
should i still believe in love?!
or i rather take the risks.
yeah...actually she always doubt n doubt
about love..
n skunk?!!!
plsss...don't confess to me..anything!!
i dun wanna live uu..
n i dun wanna lose u..
so..plz don't..
i do leave the guys who confess their feeling to me..
coz i dun wanna hurt them anymore..
when i can't accept them..
its complicated for me..
skunk... if u really love me..
n ureally ready to be in love me..
n u seriously love me..
then confess it to me..
but,if u still not sure bout ded..
n u might have some1 else in ur mind+heart
pls don't..
give me some time..
n i also will give u the chance to think bout it..
dun wory..
if u have fall in love wif some1 else
i'll accept it.
AS LONG AS U'LL BE HAPY,THEN I'LL BE FINE..
that is wat i always said to my lovess.
soo think bout it..
hamster!!!!
wats ur feelings towards the skunk?!
hamster said..
let it be a secret..
should be like that..
ok..wat bout u skunk?
pls don't CONFESS anything
if u do..then u're actually waiting for her reply?
juz keep waiting if dare to.
coz she'll not telling the truth.
thanks skunks!!!

my bez fren in love wif me?!!
cherry..actualy i...n i tried so hard to fight it but i can't..
i do have 2 gf..
but my feelings to u was so strong..
i really love u..
n i dun wanaa lose u..
its been a long time
i actually in love wif u..
keep jealousy when i saw u wif him
but wat can i do?!
u're my bestfrenzz..
n at da same time..
i do love yo..
said naruto to cherryy..


wat bout u cherry?!!!
wat!!!!!
my godd..
i really cant believe it..
how came it happen again to me?!
oh my god...
rite now i feel so guilty...
so guilty to himm
n also his gf..
he was so nice to me..
n sometimes he lend me his ears..
he do listen my problems n wipe my tears,
but wat i've already done to him?!!
i was actually hurting him..
y am i so cruel...
its hard for me to accept it..
yeah...coz of me..
he do have problems wif his exam..
n also his gf..
naruto!!!
pls forgive me..
yeah..last day we met..
we promised that to stay as a frenz forever
n i'll never leave him like
i did to others guys who confess their feelings to me..
safety pin n cigaret.
thanks..
i hope u'll find another girl that is much n more
better then me..
insyaAllah..


suffian!!!! get out from my mind laaaa!!!! heeee...

Cannot wait the day I’ll be back to shah alam…

Its not coz of I dun miss my family…of coz laa…I miz them a lot…but wat can I feel is when I was at home??? Not happineesss???!!!! I reallly wanna live in a reallly peaceful wif them…but wat can I doooo???itz like there is all around me was demon?? That keep disturbing my family…moms!! Dad!!! Could u plz stop quarelling to each other…itz reallly mess me up…mama(my sis)??!!! Bleh Dak stop masam2 muka…bebai2..,lemas laaa aku….lemas sgt….bleh dak dlm satu aty tue kta idup aman ka…n masing2 tadak yg duk cri pasal…neyh nth papa lg….semak taw dakkkk….mluw kat owank…(efi….mak pnatlaaa..))) (ermmm.taw pn mak pnt,bla la keadaan family kta nk btol??,nth2 lpaz slh sorank dri kta mati kowt?) tiap2 ary da ja msalah….mak,ba cri pasal lg dgn cek….aduh….bla laaaa aku akn idup tenang ney….when my moms ok jer…my sis n my dad plak…heeeee….sumpah RIMAS!!!!!!!!!!! Dk masam muka,ckp bukan2222….lemas gla laaaaaa…………………………………….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

U know wat I juz act like I didn’t feel anything in front of them….but actually behind them I think a lot n too much….. juz smile n laugh….juz keep hiding in kept inside my heart..if one day everything is changing….how hapy n glad I am at that time….

sWeet VaCation..Sweet mEmory...

Langkawi???

Hahahaha…itz a very a nice place for me….especially to relax my mind laaa… hahaha…. I juz come back from the vacation…I’ve been there wif hurul…kanak2 ribena tue n her sis….hahaha…hve our nyte at perdana beach resort for two nyte….i think the apartment quite creepy n scary but itz ok laaa…I reallly njoy it..especially when I jump into the swimming poooollll…hahaha…then we continue our journey at telaga 7…n next is….explore some of the beach around langkawi…..not forgetting shopping…of coz laaa…part of our main activity laaa…wua….byknye choc yg dbli…huehuehue… ermmm..wat da hurt de most is when we’ve been to cable car for twice…tp xleh nek pon….wua…..sgt cdeh…………kcewanya….ermmm…..xpe la…maybe ade hikmahnye…huehue..itz ok laaa…den kteorg men22 dgr ular,kancil,n watsoever…hahaha…at least I stilll njoy there n reallly think that I dun wanna come back…..juz wanna stay far n far away from the others…..love hiding myself n being alone…much beter be like ded then make people dissapointed coz of me…coz i reallly realize ded I olwez make the others sad coz of me…hua..dah2….ahaks…. I just ate n ate n ate when i was there…n brendam jer laaa…huhuhu….hurul…akk ana…thanks bbbyk taw…huehuehue…tharunye…thanks a loooootttt.!!!!!! Hope I’ll have another vacation…hehehe

langkawi?

:(...huhuhuh so scare..

why?? tomorow gonna be our final exam...ny god i dun think i'm really3..ready 4 ded...especially...when i got my test result..i felt no confidence because of ded..oh my god..help me!!! sp scared..so scared more then i sit for SPM exam..i swear.. i'm gonna call my parents after 11..n ask them to pray for me..huhuhhuu..since last nite,i've already call my bestfrenzz..maya kucyg..miss her..wuawua.. mlaysia studies?? i juz read a lil bit of it..hurmm..watever it is juz remember dis la...brusaha,bru tawakal..


goOd luck my frenzzz!!!

may God always blessings us!!!

InsyaAllah..

The day that I’ve been waiting for….

I woke up by 8.30am..when iQa stiillll sleeping…me?? Busy preparing myself for the perfomnance.. I really can’t wait for that perfomnce…I was so excited..since dis is my 1^st time I went for acoustic pfmance,… I’ve been dreaming bout that long time ago.. by 9 somethnig I’ve got u80 bus.. I can’t sleep last nite…coz..arghhh…crying2…why u olwez cry efy??? Hurrmm..so I continue my dreamzz in da bus…by 10.45 I arrived at KL sentral…rush to get the lrt of coz..finally,I arrived at klcc… walked all alone…msk toy r us…alaa comelnye lampu ghost pumpkin tue…kn bgs mlm ptama aku da lampu tue..hehehe.den I went to the food court…mkn nsik ayam smbil mnghayati keindahn tsik klccc..the bangla keep staring at me..yela…coz I;m alone…itz ok la…itz not da ist time I’m alone.. the pfomnce will start by 12..so,pe lg…cri kino laaa…lepak22 kejap..den bru gerak..fuh…where is actually the red bungalow??keep searching 4 it..haaa..at last I found it…juz behind nasik kandar pelita…so lucky ‘ve already have da ticket..while waiting they prepared their stuff.. I juz waited outside..try to calm myself…oh my god.. tshet roliingg stonezzz… it reminds me to apexxx…so,I send him a msg..but he didn’t reply..its ok laaa…maybe he’s busy..or sleeeppp…maybe.if he reply my msg,I want him to be wif me 4 da prfmnce..but,it’s ok laa..coz if he see me at ded day…wat mluw joh..hahaha..i heard that the acoustic perfmnce will start by 1.30..so,I decide juz go upstairs…there is visual art exhibition there..oh my god!! The picture were so beautiful.. I love arts…suddenly,there is someone so familiar n I think I’ve seen him bfore..so,I go to him n…eh,dri uitm kn?? N den he said..a’ah..owh yeah…he’s from faculty music..hahaha..then I watched the screening show..it’s actually from uitm student…wua…creative yeah..one of the screening…hahaha really touch me n makes me cry..waaaa…mluwnya…its actually a story of single mother n her daughter..she lost her daughter after she slap her face..wat really sad story,,eventhough its so simple..den by 1.30 untillll 8…lyn acoustic la…besh sgt22.. luckily,I can sit in front..hahaha..the songs perfomce by them was so nice..i really love ded..n den for the br8..the moment n the theme for the day will be screeneddd upstairs..actually I also contribute for ded..so,just watch laa ded short video..apparently, my confession not there.i think that part when it is suddenly stuck was my confession..hahaha.but its ok la..mmandangkn dri sendiri xmrelakn pown..wua… actually during that time I keep my tears..so,I need to do something to get away from it..so,I decided to take a picture there..hahaha..posing3 wif ana rAfali..one of the most best acoustic singer in mlysia..hehehe..she’s so sweet n frenly..no wonder why she’s got a lot of admirer..same with her teacher aidit alfian..pmalu tp sweet..huhuhu..after that I’ve to rush..its already nite so I’e to go back.i planned to buy 2 shirt for me n m sister.sadly,,dh tutup…cdeynye..actually the pfmnce will over by 10..but I really have to go bck..wua..i walked alone by the tasik klcc..wanna know my other surprise for him?actually I wanna spend my time wif hi by the tsikk..mkn kek ssme..bgelak2..ssme..its all for ur bfdae syg…but u didn’t come!!!!!! U know how much u broke my heart???!!!! U promised me..u wanna come..but u didn’t ..i was so sad n just let my tears out..dun care if evryone around me keep staring at me as long as I can let it out..there is a lt more I’ve been planning to do wif u..i know ded u do hve a problem n I cant accept ur request,so ded u didn’t come to me…I think u r so cruel n like the guy I know before..n now I cant talk to u..i just really cant.but dun wory syggg.. watever it is.. I promised I’ll sing to u..by 29.10.08 at 12am..wait haa.. den I’ll be gone..dun wory I’ll give u back all of ur picture..n I’ll make u 2 cd..our favourite instrumental..n 1 more?? Juz wait n try to understand it k.wait k..

When all the lecturer at concorde hotell..me..??

Me….??? Hohooho..i didn’t plan it actually..after I read wani ardy blog.. I just decide to see this guy..to buy the ticket from him something somewhere in shah alam..but then I text to ain…. My roomate..ask her whether she’s goin to CM or not..n then amal text me..n ask me to go there wif them…apa lgg…ikot je la..hohohoh… after we arrived there I bought 2 tickets at THEY artstudio.. I was so hapy at that time..juz keep shouting..i’ve the ticket..i’ll be there,for the acoustic perfomnce wif him..hurmmm..there is a surprise for him actully,since his brfdae just around the corner…hehehe..cannot wait for that day.. hope he’ll come…jauh2 nie,dri shah alam ke kl..juz 4 da ticket..hahaha..mngada..ermm..for me bufday is the most important event that really should be celebr8..huehuehue..kay22.. its not da main topic laaa…n then while waitng for abg zul..to open his shop(ricecooker,where we can get the underground n independent bands cd’s n also casssette)..we went to the art exhibition,,oh my god..really love that!!!!!! Awesome!! Fantastic… !!! why?? Of coz la the paint n the potret..was so nice..guess wat.. fuh…cntik siot..n really touch my feelings..well,it was the paint from (pesakit mental).. wuhh…I really can feel their pain eventhough juz from the picture..n…so stupid la.. TERnanges..!!! olowhhh.. sensitif tlbey la pulak..poyo btol..hohoh..but,I really love that..huhuhuh..we’ve also got chance to draw something..so ape lg ??!!! amal!! Ko kn mcm budak22..hahaha..ain pown conteng2 laaa….besh siot..eheheh.. ermm.. by 5..we went to revolution schooll..since ain keepp mention his name..the vintage teacher..but actually he’s not exactly a teacher laaa..but I’m really proud of him..why?? bcoz he can explain,tell us straightly,..everything bout wat had happened to Malaysia before independent n after..by looking to his image,nobody wil believe he have that kind of knowledge..n now.. I really loves history…hehehe..its fahmi reza laa..ain really likes him..den before we went back… amal want to buy a present for her mom n dad..so,we walked around..n keep searching for it..amal asked me to choose a present for her dad…then,I asked her to buy that really cute lighter..it was green colour n there is a panda on it..n also this cool words.. no smoking,no life…hahaha…sje nk perly ayh dia laa…hehehe..den..we decide to go back ASAP …suddenly,I realized ded..i shoud give something to apekss..kwnku yg comel..patah blk..n ask the promoter whether is there anymore lighter same likes amal bought..n den she said..dah hbiz laaa..tnggall 1 jer yg td..den,I walked out without saying anything..cdey..!!! n guess wat?? Suddenly..ded sister called me..eh,ade lg la adk..yg nie bru last..ape lg..lompat la kat ctu.ain n amal juz keep laughing at me..hahaha..mcm bdk22 dpt lolipop..hehhe..hahaa..amal da bngang..tnggu bas lme gler..den finally by 8 something bru bas smpye..so,kteorg hve a nice dremzz jer dlm bas tue…so tired..den after I arrived at section 2..i decide to give the present to apexx there.coz I cant really see him at the faculty..after I gave it to him..

Wait for 1 hour n more!! For the 603..wua…manyak penat..tp hapy sgt22..ye la,2^nd time spend mse dgn ain n amal..love yea!! Heheh..n apexx..hope u’ll like it n take cre of it..maybe that was my first n last present for u..

GAMARJOBAT’S!!!!!! LOVE YOU…

Hahahaha…untill now I really can’t forget the jokes..wow!!! mmg besh gler… hahaha…thanks miss Saliza coz bring us there..i was so happy n reallly enjoy it…especially half of my classmatezzz enjoy it tooo…except Aj,joy,bpku,jaja,eden,winnieee.. wugi woo…not only our classs but also from the other classzzz…. Nk cter spnjng pjALANan pown pnjng sgt..but I really enjoy it laaa…it was held The actors Studio@Bangsar Shopping Centre..n I hope one day or the other day laa… I cann go there again wif my frenzzz or…hurmmmm…. Hope so..

Extraordinary , Euphonic, Experience

Well,ded is our motto for our language camp..oh my god,I love ded project..n at last everythings is perfect..hey joy,aj,hurul n athirah..we’ve done a great job?? Rite..e-camp..that is the name 4 our language camp..so cool…together with our design for the name tag n also for the booklettttt… so cute..so cool..guess who’s the designer…??? Hurmm. Of coz laaa…joy!!!! She’s really creative… so,of coz also the other team mate..luckily,there is no problem during the process..we can share our opinion n accept itt…thanks so much..hahahaha.. n also for our presentation..the funny is when we present our budget..RM100 only 4 our speakers??hahaha..hurm..a.j doing my part??!!! Its ok laaa..as long as all of us contribute for the project…n I’ve already satisfied with ded..n..n it was the 1st time we had nite claz..wif who??wif miss afni..she’s so cute laa.heheh..luckily she gave us comment ded can help us to improve our work..huhuhu.. I’ve been dreaming that if we all can make it reall..hahaha brangan…but maybe one day??!! Who knows??!!! Thanks frenzzz..congratulation.. wat a lucky nite..there is a bus that can bring us stright to mawar..Alhamdullilah..i was so tired,migrain n keep thinking bout my problem in da bus..lyn lgu..n I was crying at that time actually,I tried to hide it from everyone,coz I can see that myclazmate n also haris keep chating,talking2,laughing2.. n me?? Juz sit there alone silently n cry..but..i didn’t realize ded actually a.j notice bout it..he text me n keep asking wat happen??n I keep lying to him ded I’m alright..juz to make him stop worying bout me..sory yeah a.j..really sory..he gaves me some advice..thankss so much..4 being so caring to me..maira?? suddenly she comes next to me n give me a warm hug..hahhaha..she really makes me wanna cry more n more…mcm hurul ary tue la.. tharu pnya pasal…huehuehue..thanks frenzz.. love u all so much!!!

at last....

Huhuhu…dis week,errmm,,n also last week,wat a reallllly3..hactic week…I’ve so much asssssssignment n also tessttt..hahaha..we all got so tired n of course tension la jgak,,hohohohoh..n I admit ded all dis week I’ve having migrain…maybe every single day I took panadol..n ded is why,my hands sometimesss keep shaking..hahaha..plusss222..add22..together2,with the other problem ded really makes me feel soooo bad..n because of ded my emotion was not really in a gooood condition..hohoho..so stupid..i keep crying..especially when I feel likes my lovely lecturer hates me so muchhhh.. I dun know wat actually makes him hate me so bad..i notice it when he gave my result test..the way he gave me..fuuu…really makes me feel like I’m like a skunk in front of him..n wat I think??? He like a beast who really hates me when I fart to him..hahhaha..i admit that my result was not so good,but pls…dun act like that in front of ur student..if u wanna warn me for something or angry?? Juz be honest to me..dun act like ded…come on laa…efy222!!! Dah besar! Tp mnngade lg??!!! no laa..trasa joh..!!! hohoho..n wat other things ded really makes me feel like he hate me is..the way he replied my msg through his blog…wuaaa…cooolll beb… (IS IT….IS IT….KEPALA HOTAK HANG) waaa…. Cooolll beb,xde lecturer cooollll cam ney..lyn beb…hehhehehe…reallly love it laaa…hurmm.. I think my face look like ur XGF before?the one who dumb n dump u?? maybe laaa….that is my thought bout it..sound strange rite…hey…haziQQQ!!! Dun tell anyone ok,the day I keep talking nonsense bout it with you..nyway thankssss so much 4 being my tissue…hahhahaha…not forgetting my adk yg sg cOOOMell…hurul ain la xlaen n xbukan..hehehe.. u hug me when I wass crying at intec library..during pn .hamidah my sweet leturer class…thanks so much.. I’ll never forget that moment..n of course my other classmate..ded always cheer me up…love u all so much!!!...n by the way “me feliz,me vida” called me.. n listen to my problem..hurmm..thanks so much..

But,sory ya kwn222..da byk nyusahkn korank… nyway I really appreciate ded..huehuehue..ermm…so 4 the second test my lovely lecturer was not around.. I wonder where is him??? I wanna give something 2 him..hurmmm..likes mam izyany who quite frusted bcoz of me..i gave her present..but not for her laaa…for her baby…hehehehe..bkn nk bodek laaa k…ded is me…someone who frust or act weird in front of me, I’ll treat him or her like ded…yeah..ded is me..hahaha…by da way..dun worry,I’ll never hate u laa…dun wory k…BUT if u treat me BAD,I’ll TREAT u BAD more then u treat me so bad…like hutang darah,dibyr dgn darah…hahaha..hati busuk ney…but wat can I doo… ded is me..ok,ded is all…thankksss..

at last....

Huhuhu…dis week,errmm,,n also last week,wat a reallllly3..hactic week…I’ve so much asssssssignment n also tessttt..hahaha..we all got so tired n of course tension la jgak,,hohohohoh..n I admit ded all dis week I’ve having migrain…maybe every single day I took panadol..n ded is why,my hands sometimesss keep shaking..hahaha..plusss222..add22..together2,with the other problem ded really makes me feel soooo bad..n because of ded my emotion was not really in a gooood condition..hohoho..so stupid..i keep crying..especially when I feel likes my lovely lecturer hates me so muchhhh.. I dun know wat actually makes him hate me so bad..i notice it when he gave my result test..the way he gave me..fuuu…really makes me feel like I’m like a skunk in front of him..n wat I think??? He like a beast who really hates me when I fart to him..hahhaha..i admit that my result was not so good,but pls…dun act like that in front of ur student..if u wanna warn me for something or angry?? Juz be honest to me..dun act like ded…come on laa…efy222!!! Dah besar! Tp mnngade lg??!!! no laa..trasa joh..!!! hohoho..n wat other things ded really makes me feel like he hate me is..the way he replied my msg through his blog…wuaaa…cooolll beb… (IS IT….IS IT….KEPALA HOTAK HANG) waaa…. Cooolll beb,xde lecturer cooollll cam ney..lyn beb…hehhehehe…reallly love it laaa…hurmm.. I think my face look like ur XGF before?the one who dumb n dump u?? maybe laaa….that is my thought bout it..sound strange rite…hey…haziQQQ!!! Dun tell anyone ok,the day I keep talking nonsense bout it with you..nyway thankssss so much 4 being my tissue…hahhahaha…not forgetting my adk yg sg cOOOMell…hurul ain la xlaen n xbukan..hehehe.. u hug me when I wass crying at intec library..during pn .hamidah my sweet leturer class…thanks so much.. I’ll never forget that moment..n of course my other classmate..ded always cheer me up…love u all so much!!!...n by the way “me feliz,me vida” called me.. n listen to my problem..hurmm..thanks so much..

But,sory ya kwn222..da byk nyusahkn korank… nyway I really appreciate ded..huehuehue..ermm…so 4 the second test my lovely lecturer was not around.. I wonder where is him??? I wanna give something 2 him..hurmmm..likes mam izyany who quite frusted bcoz of me..i gave her present..but not for her laaa…for her baby…hehehehe..bkn nk bodek laaa k…ded is me…someone who frust or act weird in front of me, I’ll treat him or her like ded…yeah..ded is me..hahaha…by da way..dun worry,I’ll never hate u laa…dun wory k…BUT if u treat me BAD,I’ll TREAT u BAD more then u treat me so bad…like hutang darah,dibyr dgn darah…hahaha..hati busuk ney…but wat can I doo… ded is me..ok,ded is all…thankksss..

family poetry..

Family

Emptiness is here,
I can feel it all around,
A shallow depth within this soul,
no will to live is found.

Nights are days,
and days are nights,
the hours all blend to one,
Foundations of reality have left me now,
and gone.

Sustained by only instinct,
does my body take each breath,
With shattered hopes and broken dreams,
I die this living death.

My independence absolute,
my worthiness all gone,
I fight to hold reality,
and slowly soldier on.

With all that I can muster,
I seek strength, so hard to find,
What happened to the woman I knew,
who fell so far behind.

So beaten down and trodden,
disillusioned and so frail,
Once more she plays the ending,
in a somber haunting tale.

What things in life have I done wrong,
to suffer in this way,
Each time I stand,
start feeling strong,
my world starts to decay.

Round and round my head spins
as I try to make things clear,
Everything I try to grasp
will always disappear.

Once again I have to search
this heart I have inside,
All that I see left in there,
is foolishness and pride.

How can a little girl go on like this,
what secret goes unseen,
These wounds I bare will never heal,
this conscience never clean.

I close my eyes and inwardly,try hard to understand,
What lessons does life keep from me,
what scheme does fate have planned.

I try to see my future,
but the truth does not pretend,
Someway, soon, somehow, I know
this emptiness will end.

VvwhitetrashvV

what a very nice and meaningful poems for me..

hey3...

hey...lets join me! hahaha...before final exam..

release tension..hohoh..its fun laa..

soledad..

If only you could see the tears,
In the world you left behind,
If only you could heal my heart
Just one more time,
Even when I close my eyes
There’s an Image of your face,
And once again I come to realise,
You’re loss I can’t replace.

Soledad
It’s a keeping for the lonely,
Since the day that you were gone,
Why did you leave me,
Soledad
In my heart you were the only
And your memory lives on
Why did you live me
Soledad

Walking down the streets of nothingville
Where our love was young and free
Can’t believe just what an empty place
It has come to be,
I would give my life away,
If it could only be the same,
‘cause I can’t still the voice inside of me
That is calling out your name.

Time wiil never change the things you told me,
After all we’re meant to be,
Love will bring us back to you and me,
If only you could see


What a really meaningful this song for me.Soledad singing by a great singer from England that is Westlife.The way they sing this song really can touch my feelings and other peoples.They way they express each of the words from the lyrics really can make people cry,especially for the people who loss their own love.Even me can cry when I listen and understand this lyrics.It’s really touch me.From the beginnig of this song shows that how important the person that we love

Love is really important for human being.without love maybe we cannot survive.not just for our loves ones,but also for gods,parents,our familt,teachers and so on.if we do loss that love,I don’t think we can survive and live happily ever after.because of that in everyones heart should have that feelings and once you found your true love,learn and try to appreciate it.

From the first stanza of this songs tell us that he want the girl knows that he was so sad and how hard for him to forget everything about that girl.he realise that whatever it is,even when he closed his eyes,there is an image of her and nobody can replace her.

Whereas for the chorus,he keep asking why the girl leave him.he felt so lonely without the girl around.just that girl in his heart and the memory was always vivid in his mind.he really can’t forget about that girl.he has been so faithful to the girl.

For the third stanza,it tells about their own memory.he just can’t except that suddenly the memory loss just like that.he rather sacrifice himself if the memory with the girl can come back.his heart just keep calling for her name and want her to be around him again.

For the last stanza,it tell us that whatever it is even time will never change the words from her.he believes that love will bring them back to stay together forever,if the girl can realise that.

The writer of this lyrics are really creative,sensitive, and emotional.this songs shows that how sad and desperate he is.he really needs that women around him.he really needs the women loves.whatever it is their own memory was still vivid in his mind and never been forgotten.he really hopes that the person who he really loves will come back to him and they were meant together again.he don’t wanna find another girl because he for him only that girl can gives him those happiness.the girl are forever important for him.their loves are not an obssesion loves but true loves that they deserve to have..

Ps..appreciate your loves ones and no doubt to him/her if they can prove it to you.don’t even dumb them. lossing someone that we love was the most worst pain in our lives.

ba..mak...ampunkan efii...

Slm aidilfitri..

Mak.ba,nana,lala…maafkan efi sbb xbraya skaly..ba..maafkan efi sbb dah wat ba trasa dgn efi..efi xjwb pnggilan ba hri tue..efi bkn sngaja tamaw jwb pnggilan ba..lpaz teguran ba n mak hri tue watkn efi trasa sgt2..efi taw tue suma slh efi..lpz dri teguran mak n ba..efi jauhkan dri dari nset..msa kat uitm..efi tlalu sdeh dgn pa yg jd..tiap2 hri efi mnanges..ba..maafkan efi rya ney efi lngsung xpandng ba..tp jauh dlm aty efi..efi rindu sgt2 plok cium ba..ney la 1^st time efi xsambut rya dgn ba..maafkn efi..efi xley lg nak face to face dgn ba..maafkn efi sbb dah jd anak yg derhaka.. efi taw susah bg ba nk maafkn efi..

Mak..trima kasih byk3..mak pkai bju raya yg efi blikan utk mak…mak cantik sgt pkai bju tue..efi thru sgt22..mak pkai bju yg efi bg wpon mak mrh efi…mak..trima kasih sbb mak sdiakn tlekung utk efi pkai utk smayng ry…tp efi x p…maafkan efi…mak…dlm aty efi sbnaqnya nk sgt kta suma rya skaly..tp xksmpaian..disbbkan prangai efi..maFKAn efi…mak….cek windu sgt2 mak….btmbah kcewa bla xdpt mkn rendng mak…mak…maafkan cek…maafkn cek mak…cek rindu sgt2 mak…cek xleh hidup tnpa mak..ampunkan efi mak…ampunkan efi…cek nk mak…

Nana,lala maafkan efi sbb xrya skaly..jga la mak lek lok…efi xdpt nk jd anak yg bek..maafkn efi…wndu sgt nak raya skaly…. Raya ney rya..yg plng cdey skaly….tmbah bla yang pn tadak..efi sdey sgt…..

Ampunkan efi…efi sygggg sgt2 kt suma….

Mcm mana pon family efi…efi ttp syg family efi…

Wasalam…

I WANT MY FAMILY BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =,{

I'm stuck on u...

wat a bloody plan??i mean wat he's actually trying to do rite now?everytime i tried hard to avoid him...he tried to pull me back n close to him.. i've already explain to him everything n for so many times i remind him ded watever it is..i'm not going to b urs...but he wouldnt listen to me..from his way,i knew it n i can feel ded he really loves me.. yeah...he really appreciate me eventhough sumtimes he hurts me..he can't live without me..wat a sweet moment when he gives me somethings ded i like..i dun think ded he did ded juz bcoz want me to feel sory 4 him..bcoz i can see from his way.. its like he juz want me to be more hapy like olwez..since like when i've a problem wif my dad..oh god..my dad hates him so bad..but wat bout me?i realize ded he already hurts my feelings..but i cant lie to myself... ded...ermmm...my heart still belong to him so tightly.. eventhough i tried to forget him...sounds stupid rite...yeah..i'm stupid...



ps, i love ded crazy man..

he is crazy..

n really,truly crazy

but i hope..
one day..he'll change..

i really love him..

wat a sad mlm rya n hary rya..huhuh

i.m so sad.. there is 3 reason why i'm so sad rite now..

ist.i've a problem wif my dad,i didnt talk to him since the 1st day i'm home.i knew ded i've already hurt his feelings.but i've already ask 4 a forgiveness from him last week when we had a meeting together. i know ded i made a big mistake.but pls dun do ded to me. i feel so bad n i juz wanna run away from here.i feel like he hates me so much.i didnt answer his call not bcoz i dun wanna talk to him.but after he tortured n warning me.. i tried to avoid myself to get along wif my nset.. n juz keep it in silent mode n put it away from me.i juz follow his order actually..but..wat happen now?i miss him...i miss my family..wat bout my hary rya? hua.... ;'(


2nd is... my brothers not around...celebrating dis rya without him for de 1st time.. owh,,,my god... i miss him so much...


3rd..no rendang for dis morning..since likes my moms busy doing another job.. my sisters n i .. busy cleaning out my grands house..so,we have no time for ded rendang.. only kweh cornflakes choch ahjer..huhuhuh...



WUA..............ISK....ISK......ISK.....SOB......SOB....SOB.............

can someone teach me how to respect the others?

oh my god!! i dun know how to respect the others,do i?wat do you guys think??i'm already break up wif my bf,ahhh...wat a peaceful life without him around me.. i miss him so much,of course..but its ok without him,sumtime i feel ded i need him around,but when i think bout wat he did to me..arghhh....we've been break up bcoz he said that i didnt respect him..when i didnt eat that stupid panadol..wat a stupid reason rite?i'm the one who sick,but he's the one who suffer n emo then me..oh my god,i cant stand that..to caring but can kill me..then,the worst thing is,he mocked my family...how could my bf,my brothers most clozefren,my neighbour..sum1 ded my parents really believe did that?? isn't cruel?? watever he did to me b4.i never said to him ded i hate him..but this time i hate him damn so bad bcoz of those fuckin words.. i hate him..see...my hearts already dirty bcoz of those shit...i love him so much b4...bcoz of dis,i 'm not going back to him...never...i cant 4give him..if he is only juz a fren n doesnt close to my family...mayb i can forgive him..but he's different..he knows everything bout my family..so.ded its hard for me to accept that..eventhough i hate him..but deeply in my heart i still love him..n no one can replace him rite now..i love him more then everything.. i hope he'll change his attitude even not for me..='(

missing u....

i miss u so much..i miss my brother damn so bad...he's not here..i can't imagine dis hari raya there is no him around us..he's now sumtin sumwhere in canada..i think toronto..i'm not sure..huahuahua... i miss him so much eventhough we're not to close,but when he's not around i really can feel that..i miss him..wat bout my parenzz.. i can that they r too worried bout him..they keep talking bout him when we sit together or on the phone.its ok..well.,wat bout his future wife..well,i think everyday she will cry and cry...oh my god,how hurt it is when someone that we love not around..??i think for me..its ok,maybe..if he's so annoying..but if he's so caring,of course i'll cry everyday when he stay far away from me.. ='(....lastly, i hope he'll be fine there..insyaAllah..

business software

business software as any software that can help a business increase productiviti and also its quality.it helps a lot to make sure our business will be in right arrangement.the small business market gemerally consists of home accounting software and also office suites such as microsoft office and open office.org.

The medium size, or SME, has a broader range of software applications, ranging from accounting, groupware, customer relationship management, human resources software, outsourcing relationship management, loan origination software, shopping cart software, field service software, and other productivity enhancing applications.
The last segment covers enterprise level software applications, such as those in the fields of enterprise resource planning, enterprise content management (ECM), business process management and product lifecycle management. These applications are extensive in scope, and often come with modules that either add native functions, or incorporate the functionality of third-party software programs.
Now, technologies that have previously only existed in peer-to-peer software applications, like Kazaa and Napster, are starting to feature within business applications. JXTA is an open source platform that enables the creation of machine and language neutral applications. Peer based applications will be especially useful for aggregating the information at the edge of the network that currently resides in the neurons of the users themselves.

types of business software.

Digital Dashboards - Also known as Business Intelligence Dashboards, Enterprise Dashboards, or Executive Dashboards, these are visually-based summaries of business data that show at-a-glance understanding of business conditions through metrics and Key Performance Indicators (KPIs). A very popular BI tool that has arisen in the last few years.
Online Analytical Processing, commonly known as OLAP (including HOLAP, ROLAP and MOLAP)- a capability of some management, decision support, and executive information systems that supports interactive examination of large amounts of data from many perspectives.[1]
Reporting software generates aggregated views of data to keep the management informed about the state of their business.
Data mining - extraction of consumer information from a database by utilizing software that can isolate and identify previously unknown patterns or trends in large amounts of data. There are a variety of data mining techniques that reveal different types of patterns.[2]. Some of the techniques that belong here are Statistical methods (particularly Business statistics) and Neural networks as very advanced means of analysing data.
Business performance management (BPM)

the computer and the internet

the advantages of using the computer is the speed,reliability and can storages everything.it is also for communication and consistency .but it is also has it own disadvantages that is the violation of privacy.impact of labour fore,health risk,impact of environment.for example when someone try to disturb your privacy.the picture or anything else.
networks and the internet
-collection of computers and devices connected together,often wirelessly.
-the resources is hardware devices,software programmes data and also the information..

the server
- controls the access to resources
-client or workstation,request resources for server.

why is computer can be one of my "clozfrenz"

i love my "clozfrenz"....(",)

well,who is my '' clozefrenz"?? actually its my personal computer and also my own laptop..well, i love it so much becayse whenever i need somthing,it will help me..for example,when i have to type something,i'll use it..there is so many programs that i can use for my own writing and also to finish my work

will be continued...

always be urself..

always be urself...

since this is my first blog...so,i'm going to write everything about me and why i choose this worsds"always be urself" as the title.first af all my my real name is nurul afifah binti azlan,but everyone can call me effy..and i'm naturally born at alor star,kedah darul aman on 2nd of july.1990...well,i never move to anywhre since i'm still a baby and i really love my hometown.well,the reason why i choose "always be urself' as the title is,i always hold that words wherever i go, i love travelling,and when i go to the different places,i find that there so many differences cultures in a different state.so,that it will be the challenges for everyone to change their attitudes,characters or anything else.for me,wherever i went to, or whoever i friends with,i'll always be myself and not act differently in front of them.but,i still can learn new experinces especially the positives ones..maybe it can make feel more confident and be more mature.but,one thing i would like to stress on is.how mature i'm,i still love cartoons and anime and never change it..well.also my interest,maybe can be added but it will never be change.what about my family?oh,yeah..whatever situation it is i always put my family at the first ranking.eventhough,i've to sacrifice everything.nothing will change it..ok.that is all i can write.thanks a zilllion.."always be urself'(",)